Sunday, February 24, 2019

32, New York

My upcoming role is mother of a little boy. He’s currently enjoying his bounce castle (my womb). This has been a blessing in many ways and it’s giving me the motivation to examine my gifts, go forward with a sound plan.
People would be surprised by how much of a family person I am, how important faith is to me and how much I enjoy being out in the sticks versus the city. Solitude and serenity are important to me.

My biggest accomplishment thus far: Tapping into my sisu (look it up ^.^ ), fighting for myself and finding my voice and holding on for the ride. I come from tough stock. I’m also much more aware when I need to reroute my attack plan.

I think working on yourself can definitely impact the community around you. “Everyone thinks of changing the world but no one thinks of changing himself.”
That’s a quote (unsure if its rightly or wrongly attributed to Tolstoy) that speaks loudly about the topic. Don’t think too highly of yourself just accept your strengths, shortcomings and make note of where you need to improve.

I wish neurotypicals/those not on the spectrum knew about autism are several things of lack cognitive empathy which means we are greatly limited in understanding body language. Just because someone processes life differently is no great indication of further success or failure. A delay does not indicate impossibility/improbability. Please entertain thoughts outside of your box. And for those that are allies and understand these things, you’re such an asset to our community. Keep fighting the good fight.

My advice to others who are autistic are: do not bow down or cower to people that are intent on shaming you. Your life is as valid as someone else’s and your capabilities are unique. Know thyself and tap into them. This is a gift not a curse. You’re not broken. You have some special gifts in your internal storage. Be around confident people, not the kind that are envious or shoot you down. If you seek the environment that enriches your soul and your voice, it’ll give you the boost necessary to explore your dreams and ultimately achieve them. Be yourself - everyone else is taken.

Signs I displayed of having autism: Excessive fact sharing, monotone voice, social awkwardness and lack of cognitive empathy.

The best resources i received were speech and OT in my youth. They didn’t shame me into believing my thoughts and behaviors were wrong. It helped me to investigate my world.  As an adult, being patient with myself and speaking up with tact (in order to advocate for myself) have proved to be tremendous tools

I was greatly relieved upon receiving my diagnosis and it was beautiful to meet people on a similar journey. I mag flounder at times but my focus and brain power is to my benefit. I’ll use it to it’s fullest soon.

Today I feel about my diagnosis now: I’m rolling with it, day by day. Once I’m onto the paths that suit me, I’ll prosper like I’m meant to.

I had gone through lots more obstacles because of not having a diagnosis : The educational system was pure hell for me in a plethora of ways. I’d like not to say it shooed me away from the pursuit but it left a nasty taste in my mouth. I was tired of trying to explain myself to people that were dedicated to misunderstanding my position. As an adult, 12 years after my diagnosis, I’ve changed. I’ll keep pushing until the good things that need to happen happen.
My social life is in a wonderful place as opposed to a decade ago. But hey, you’re young and experimenting!

There’s a laundry list of obstacles I have overcame but it’s either been one step at a time or I blast through it like a wrecking ball. Grey areas are not usually my forte!

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