Sunday, June 23, 2019

38 next week. I live in Las Vegas, NV I used to work in healthcare. I did that for 15 years but was starting to get burnt out and my last manager really pushed me over the edge by retaliating against his employees anytime they needed time off. He was also very difficult in getting accommodations for my autism. I currently do part-time work with instacart and I like that I can make my own schedule and don't have to work with anybody. People are usually surprised to find out I have 11 tattoos, have lots of experience in music and in professional editing and proofreading. They are also surprised by the fact that I am Hispanic LOL. I don't usually look at any successes as big accomplishments but I guess if I had to pick it would be having designed books with my name in the credits, working with a music producer, and finding out I make a great comedian how i would want to change myself I would like to learn how to better understand the world around me. How I want to change the world, I want to educate people on autism in its different forms because it would make it easier for autistic people to communicate if people understood. Something I wish neurotypicals (those with not autism others) knew about autism is if you don't communicate directly, there is a good chance I won't understand what you are saying. If I ask questions it doesn't mean I'm stupid. It means I'm trying to understand Something I want to tell to the rest of the people on the spectrum- just be yourself. Honestly it is too complicated to try to cover up your struggles or things you don't understand. There's nothing wrong with you. We are just uniquely designed and the rest of the world hasn't caught up yet.
- I got diagnosed late in life so the only sing I've had is therapy. I'm still learning what resources are available to me. It is different and much more difficult when you are diagnosed late in life.
an employee therapist had suggested I get checked for sensory perception disorder because I explained to her the problem I had was loud noises and light. I also explained to her my extreme boredom at work. My nephew is autistic so the more I compared what I saw in him to myself, the more I wondered.
it was liberating and sad all at once when I first got diagnosed. In a way of validated why I have felt a certain way my whole life, but I also knew things were going to change and it wouldn't be easy. Today, I am definitely more verbal about it. I want people to be educated about autism so I try to to be an advocate. I don't look for sympathy but rather for understanding. I've accepted this is who I am and I like who I am! There are things I still struggle with but I am learning. When you are not diagnosed early on, you learn ways of covering up your struggles because you know you don't fit in and you feel like something is wrong with you but you are scared about it. So you learn to do your best to fit in and be like everyone else, but the reality is it's painful inside when you do this. My therapist told me I was very good at hiding the things I struggled with. I've had to learn to undo some of the coping mechanisms that were doing more harm than good and now I am trying to learn better ways but it is challenging. Also, people are so used to you being one way that when things start to change they have an issue with it. I find that people still expect me to be who I was before my diagnosis when I am not able to do that any longer. Getting my diagnosis allowed me to be authentic and allowed me to bring my struggles to light. I wouldn't know how to go back if I tried nor do I want to. But this creates a very lonely existence because people don't understand. I get told often that it doesn't seem like I have autism or that what I'm experiencing is not my autism because other people experience those things too. I'm not good at explaining exactly what I experienced so I know that when I explain it to people it sounds generic.

Obstacles I have overcome- I have experienced abusive relationships, being low income, I also have fibromyalgia, I am very sensitive to sound and sometimes light. I have trouble with large crowds and feel very awkward in social situations. I have experienced health problems not related to my autism, lots of judgemental people who don't understand how autism works. I have experienced adversity and I was also diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I don't have much of a support system. I just do my best to push through each day and try to find things that I enjoy or things that will calm my mind

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