Monday, August 5, 2019

I am 18 and I’m from Kentucky, USA.

I’m currently a college student studying neonatology.

I love to help people, play my musical instruments and watch tv/YouTube.

I like my current lifestyle right now and would not like it to change.

Most people don’t know that I’ve been gifted in music vocally and instrumentally since I was around 7.

My biggest accomplishment is making it through high school. I really struggled with bullying, grades and more so to finish high school was a big deal to me. I would like to be able to focus harder on subjects that I struggle with and be more organised.

I wish people without autism knew that it doesn’t change who I am. Just because I gained this diagnosis doesn’t mean I’ve changed. It doesn’t make me stupid or “special” it makes up my personality.

I’ve benefited from speech therapy ( before I even had a diagnosis), physical therapy( also before I had a diagnosis), and occupational therapy.

My most awkward and silly story is the time I did not like this one boy in elementary school so me and my mum agreed that I should change schools because he would distract me and the teachers didn’t seem to care about that. I went to this new school the next year super nervous and the first person I see when I walk in is the said boy who would distract me. Apparently he didn’t want to hear me complaining about him distracting me any longer so him and his mum decided he would move schools.

My words to anyone else on the spectrum is that don’t see it as a major problem in your life, see it as just something that makes you stronger. It has personally made me have to try harder at certain things so I tend not to take things for granted.

My parents knew that I struggled with playing with other kids because I didn’t want to be near the other kids to share other them my belongings and it made me anxious. Towards my early teen years I started to have personality problems because of masking for so long which caused me into a state of depression. I knew something was up personally but I didn’t want to have a hovering title above my head at all times. My friends started to notice burnouts frequently and I decided on my own to see a school psychiatrist. The school psych at first thought it was just anxiety but that is because I didn’t notice that I was masking. Then he gave me a test after me continuing to struggle day to day to figure out what’s up. It came up that I have Aspergers. We were both surprised. At first I thought it was a mistake so we went over my answers again and when reading it allowed I kind of had an epiphany that I actually do have Aspergers. For a whole week I didn’t want to accept it because I didn’t know much about it except the stereotypes. But after watching a ton of videos I realised that it’s true and that I need to tell someone else.

I’m happy I know my diagnosis now because now family and friends know that meltdowns aren’t me being spoiled ( what they told me after I got diagnosed), they also know that burnouts when with people isn’t me not wanting to be with them it’s just been a lot for me to deal with. If I didn’t have my diagnosis I could possibly still be struggling majorly with my personality issues and even with suicidal tendencies. Going through my whole childhood without my diagnosis makes me often wonder how others can go 20-50 or more years without knowing.

I struggled just with my childhood not knowing so I struggle to believe that there could still be people in there 40’s even that don’t know they’ve got autism. I’ve faced many obstacles in my life. Some of them are suicidal tendencies, extreme anxiety, meltdowns galore, and personality issues( not understanding who I even am anymore). I would love to change the worlds beliefs that all autistic people are the same and that females can’t have it too. I would also love to stop the horrible autistic kid memes.

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