Tuesday, October 15, 2019
I'm 26 from st Louis, Missouri
I'm working on being a video editor/ youtuber and working on a book of poem
I think people would be surprised i write poems.
My biggest accomplishment is that I turned out to be a good person.
I wish people would like themselves more.
I wish the neurotypical people would understand that just because some is diagnosed with autism, aspergers, or pdd that its not a death sentence and we are our own person with great personalities.
To the rest of the people on the spectrum id say its ok to be weird. most people respect the fact you are being yourself and will give you the time of the day.
I went to a special ed middle school (the Miriam school). They gave speech therapy, fine motor skills help and a lot i can never repay them for. Miriam helped my social skills tremendously.
Funny story about me: One of the first friends in 2nd grade I made was by him throwing a ball at my head and basically saying play with me.
I was diagnosed with OCD at 5, ADHD at 6 and Aspergers at 7 so i didn't think much of it until i got older. when i got older i started resenting it and myself. I wouldn't tell anyone i have it and I distanced myself from people with the same or similar disabilities as me.
My views changed toward my disorder. It just happened gradually. Probably started when I started talking to my middle school friends again.
I went through the typical things. being bullied, not knowing how to stand up for myself and lots of switching schools. Also had a hard time making friends. I'm decent at making friends now. people just tend to like me. The only reason I've made it through has been my family, i have a great support system.
I do believe my diagnosis is a strength. it gives me a perspective most people dont have.
A poem I've written:
If only this could be a fable but Im mentally unstable, its like when an earthquake hits but you're on top of the table. I have aspergers, so whenever i do something social im awkward and it happens like Clockwork. Im living with adhd and a coat with a phd is prescribing me concerta or adderall. I just want to be better yall. I wish i could stay on one topic but my mind is like a ball pit that a bomb went off in. And next comes ocd. It makes my brain go woe is me. I wish i didnt perseverate on things that devestate my mental state. I wish i didnt have to be depressed, i just want to be content. Everything i want to do gets suppressed but i guess thats just a side effect. I never planned on trying to waste my self but I've been in the psych ward so many times that i pace around with my laces out, and ive never been chased around but I've seen someone try to hang themselves. Im mentally unstable and someday i hope to be under the table.